This was taken a little over a year ago, but it still cracks me up. I love how you can see flashes of the whites of her eyes when she barks. Silly baby.

Most people (respectfully excluding the population of China) have experienced sibling rivalry at one point in their lives. It’s a familiar conflict in homes with more than one child, but I see it as a positive thing. A little friendly competition among siblings can often provide a much-needed driving force in bringing out a child’s full potential. But what if the insecurity sets in during adulthood? This is my dilemma.

I started thinking about this issue this past Friday, on the night before my brother was to receive his MS in Environmental and Water Resources Engineering from the University of Texas. Don’t get me wrong—I adore my younger brother and am extremely proud of his accomplishments. He has worked very hard for his academic accolades and I wish him all the successes in the world. However, seeing him receive seemingly all the praise from our family and friends has started to wear upon my self esteem. And it feels silly. I’m 27 years old. I shouldn’t need a pat on the back from my parents when I do a good job at work.

I realized last night that I’m not exactly attempting to compete with my brother. I like to think that I would suddenly feel this drive even if I were an only child. As it stands, I’m merely competing for the pride of those I love and respect. Beyond this, I’m feeling tremendous regret for the missteps I took in my younger years that led many of those people to have lowered expectations for me. I was always the creative, flighty child whose free spirit couldn’t be burdened by institutionalized academia, policies, or commonly accepted beliefs regarding how a “smart” kid should dress or behave. Now, nearly 15 years later, nobody thinks to ask about my accomplishments because I have not been able to escape my juvenile image.

Faux sibling rivalry

When people are rallying to congratulate my brother on his triumphs, it is not uncommon for people to ask my mother if I am still in college. Nearly everyone who asks acts surprised when my mother informs them that I graduated from the University of Texas in 2005 and have had a successful career in the Internet marketing industry. But I haven’t completely escaped my “creative rebel” stigma—my job is so strange that my mother has a nearly impossible time telling people what I do. In these cases, perception is reality, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people walked away thinking that I sit at home and fill out Internet surveys for cash all day.

Alas, this is my life. This is the image that I created for myself in my formative years, and it’s only natural that I have to live with the consequences of low expectations in my adult years. My drive to make up for my shortcomings as a youth and make my family proud grows incrementally every year. In eight months I too will receive an MS degree, and I must admit that I look forward to accomplishing something concrete and measurable that may actually resonate with the people who underestimated me.

Shdpocuvoviifkeff iohf hello I’m Ashley Klans

My hipbones click loudly wherever I walk,
The sailors all love me way out at the docks.
I’m nasty and dirty and mean as a dog,
Please tell me a tale from your captain’s log

Of typhoid and madness and Taiwanese whores,
Who charge you at first but then come back for more.
And the loved ones who greet you at your homeland’s shores,
Who later at night question your oozing sores.

“It’s scurvy,” you say, with a smirking grin,
But you will both know they’re the wages of sin.
Yet down at the docks there are no lonely men,
Just knock on my door and I’ll let you in.

Download paper: The Farm Labor Crisis and the Need for H-2A Program Reform (MS Word)

Abstract

The U.S. farm labor shortage has become a significant threat to the agriculture industry.  Though the H-2A program provides an opportunity for farmers to legally obtain alien labor, most farmers are not interested in this program because they feel it is expensive, complicated, misdirected, and overly bureaucratic.  In this research paper, I plan to explore the ethical implications of accommodating farmers’ needs over workers’, and vice versa.  Farmers who participate in the H-2A program are required to provide free housing, food, and transportation to H-2A workers, on top of paying them a generous wage for the industry.  However, farmers are not required to provide these benefits to workers who are citizens of the United States.  Some farm labor advocates claim that failure to provide this service to H-2A workers is unethical, while many farmers claim that the effects of these requirements will result in higher food prices and failed farms.

Read more »

me: AAH! i just saw my ex on congress. we were crossing the street, facing each other.

ams: shittttttttttt

me: i was with liam

ams: did you say anything??

me: i was chatting with liam and looked up and said “oh, fuck me.”

ams: to your ex?

me: haha, he wishes. he walked by all fast and huffy.

ams: ahahahhahhaa. oh life is so hilarious.

ams: did he look cute? did you look cute? not that it matters, but it does.

me: …i was wearing my three keyboard cat moon shirt

While remodeling the bathroom in the bedroom that I inhabited from 1985-2000, my mother came upon a little rant that I wrote at some point in my high school career. After some research, I concluded that this was written on October 6, 1999.

This rant appears in its original form below. Enjoy.

Boy Bands: The Hype, The Glamour

I just don’t understand the whole big deal. Gloria Estefan is sitting there, gracing my TV with her new “trendy” look as she cuddles up to the boys of ‘N Sync. It’s mass hysteria; it’s pure insanity.

The folks at MTV were just forced to lower their shades in their Times Square studio because of the masses of fans that congregated around the windows. Millions of teenage heart-struck girls, each and every one of them screaming over the wimpy boys of ‘N Sync. Their looks aren’t all that appealing, really. Anybody could get themselves a little bleached Jheri curl and adopt the name Justin. Voila! Instant heartthrob. As for the other boys, there just isn’t that much hope for them. The one member who sports the horrible braids is wearing a cap that so gracefully sports the words “’N Suck.” Whoever made these caps, call me; we need to hook up.

Following MTV’s brief interview with ‘N Sync, they cut to the new Limp Bizkit video. Upon Carson’s inquiry about the boys liking Limp Bizkit, they replied rather wholeheartedly, with a joyous “YES!” I find it hard to believe that any band (if one can even call them that) that produces such huge disappointments as “Tearing Up My Heart” and “Music Of My Heart” could enjoy the music of self-proclaimed bad-asses Limp Bizkit.

Three teenage girls drove all the way from Ohio to see the boys in ‘N Sync in Times Square. It was a nine hour road trip, but they were never bored or tired, for ‘N Sync’s pitiful music kept them excited. Pure insanity.

Where have all the good musicians gone?

Please come back…

Does the ‘N Sync member with the bad red hair really think he’s Superman?

Save the music industry from this absolute trash.

Don’t even get me started on Ricky Martin…

Doree couldn’t make it to my birthday party on Saturday, so she sent a very special replacement. This is easily the most awkward thing I’ve ever endured, but it definitely took the party up a notch. Thanks to Matt for capturing it all in beautiful high definition with his new T1i.

Yesterday I got a papercut that bled for over three hours.

I'm smooth.

That’s pretty much the only thing that’s happened since my last update.

Yeah right.

But that’s all you get.

I need to get srs, srsly.

Like most members of my generation, I can barely remember life before the Internet. I grew up in an extremely rural area with no offering of social activities, so I found solace in the Internet at a young age. Right now, while riding a motorcycle, I found myself saying, “Wheeeeeee!” Then I started humming Gonads and Strife, which led me to reminisce about the outstanding Web sites that fortified my desire to make out with the Internet and maybe have its babies. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we? I will attempt to list these sites in chronological order, starting in 1997.

Fugly.net

A Web site that makes fun of people is pretty much the greatest thing two catty 14-year-old girls can find. My best friend and I spent hours laughing at these poor souls. I still laugh when I think of sweet little Joe Prole.

Rotten.com (NSFW)

Again, my best friend and I were obsessed with this Web site when we were barely into our teens. “Faces of Death” had been a staple at most of our slumber parties for several years, and we were delighted to find some new gore material. This site has branched out over time, but it hasn’t neglected its gory roots. Stay rotten, Rotten.com. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

BabySue.com (kind of NSFW)

I find myself reciting absurd BabySue poetry in inappropriate situations way, way too often. This is why you shouldn’t let your kids play on the Internet. Hey, a segue way! If you’re a parent, you might find the article entitled A Parent’s Guide to Satanic Cult Ritual Abuse to contain some valid tips.

I swear that this site was only accessible without the “www.” prefix when I first went to it. You know, before there were enough Web sites to coin the term “World Wide Web” (I KEEEED).

Geocities

Because everyone has the right to post terrible, angsty teenage poetry amidst animated .gifs.

I Liek Milk

Hitoshi lieked [sic] milk so much that he decided to make a Web site about it. Time has not been kind to his Web site, as I was unable to find an incarnation of it at the time of this post. However, in true form, YTMND pays Hitoshi a fitting tribute.

MakeOutClub.com

Gibby was Web 2.0 before we even knew we were on v1.0. This site marked the beginning of my obsession with social networking. I created my first MOC account in November of 2000 at the ripe young age of 18. I don’t even want to admit how many of my college boyfriends I met via this site. I will, however, tell you that I met some of my best friends on this site and we laugh about it ALL THE TIME.

Scribble.nu

These stupid jerks pulled the plug on this site after I gave them $5 for a permanent account, taking along with it the prattle of an emotional college freshman. Thanks, maybe?

Rathergood.com

Joel Veitch was lolcattin’ before lolcats were even lolcattin’.

Superbad.com

No, seriously. I went to these sites in this progression pretty much every day of my sophomore year of college. I’d hit up some RatherGood and balance it out with some SuperBad. Don’t confuse this effin’ weird Web site with that movie about farts and penises and what have you. Kids.

Livejournal.com

Listen, LJ. Today I am sad because my boyfriend and I broke up, so I went to class and then I took a four hour nap. Then I ate two cheeseburgers and played some MMORPGS.

You can just walk away if you think I’ll ever link you to my early college Livejournal account.

So there you have it. I could waste a lot more time on this venture through caches of Christmas past, but I don’t want to cheapen the aforementioned sites.

Yours in copying and pasting juicy AIM conversations and never considering the consequences,
Becca